Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos. At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon. The speaker said:
“Exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life”
This is probably the second time in this week when i am granted with the title of a selfish,mean,impossible,rock hard and cold hearted person.
Firstly by my mother and secondly by a dear friend.
Well the interesting part is that deep inside somewhere they know that i am not this way, and deep inside somewhere in my mind I also know that it’s all because of my reluctance in speaking.
Moving on to the story… A week ago I had an argument with my mom, although I always try my level best not to misbehave but still i was rude. I did not talk to her after that because i knew she’s angry with me. She didn’t seem bothered by my silence but i wanted to converse with her the way we always used to.
Two days passed and i would always see her laughing and giggling with my other siblings,giving them goodbye hugs on their way to school,greeting them whenever they come back home,scolding them with humorous comments,making fun of the way they dance,the way they eat. I waited and hoped that she would notice me on one corner of the room but she didn’t.
4 days passed and we were not in talking terms with each other.
Now my thoughts started wandering here and there. I began to think
Whether my mother really needs me or not??
When she is perfect and happy with all of her other kids then what is the point of me being here??
Am i really that worthless??
She never gets angry with anybody like this,then why only me??
Nobody even tried convincing her for me??
While I was in the midst of all my exaggerations somebody from behind me patted on my shoulder.
Yes!!! It was mum.
“O mariyaah! How cold hearted can you ever be.” she exclaimed loudly “You haven’t talked to me since 4 days. I do agree that people have differences at home but does that mean that they stop talking to each other??? “
I was left with no reasons and no answers. “I could never tell you or anybody how unwanted actually I felt.. But i wish i could discern” I thought to myself since i could not tell her how i looked forward to her to show up every minute. Silence is not an ultimate righteous attribute at times but i couldn’t say a word because i knew if i try then i would start crying right away.
I just thought about a few things that i used to believe and i used to do a few years back.When somebody asked me about my qualities the first answer that i always had was that
“I AM AN OPTIMIST … AND I HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF EACH AND EVERY SITUATION”
A classmate of mine seemed like the most pessimistic person to me.She was always and always worried about something,i dunno what.But whatever it was,it bothered her allot.I kept criticizing her on her moods and never thought about the reason behind it.May be because i was least interested in helping her or because i had no issues in my life at that time.
Now when i look at the way i think about everybody every problem everything i always conclude that may be she may be she was passing through the same phase as i am now.
But my question still remains unanswered.
What is that thing that makes people think this way… What is that thing that make people think that God doesn’t exist … What is that thing that made them think that she was born without any right on herself… What is that thing that makes them think that they dont own it and they don’t deserve it either…
Its DARKNESS and DISAPPOINTMENT that kills a persons self esteem.. That changes the person from inside out..that makes a person struggle and fight with himself and even disown himself.
And its just DARKNESS and DISAPPOINTMENT that makes a pessimist out of an optimist…
In our society 3 out of every 5 children in the middle class and the lower class are suffering from these problems,inappropriate behaviors,abusive language,the taunts which are regarded as jokes by the elders,short temperament of the elders,mockery by their siblings or classmates and unnecessary snapping by one or both of the parents.
This deride and revile by a tauntress may seem inconspicuous and may be forsaken for the time being but these words have a long lasting affect.They can actually conquer a child’s mind and his activities and thinking abilities can come to a hault.
the causes,the issues,the consequences,the events and finally the conclusions; I realize that it’s actually the people’s attitude,their behavior that makes you own or disown a place
Yes … i do agree that children cannot be treated politely all the time,Parents do get provoked for their betterment.But it also true that the parents or elders spit out their frustration into a few words of contemptuousness,which they do not actually mean but those words are a great burden for a child’s innocent mind.Your one word of derision may entirely kill a kid’s self esteem.
“Nothing be, but a good listener”
“A good listener is always a silent flatterer”
“A good listener does not mean that he has nothing to say,a good listener is a good talker with a sore throat”
“Great leaders are always good listeners”
Apart from all of these things they are various pros and cons of being a listener.
• trustworthy and innocent
• may be sympathetic
• and your words are valued
It is an important factor in any relationship any friendship.It brings a certain level of comfort whenever the thing is about sharing your problems and personal issues.Obviously nobody would like to highlight his personal issues in front of a person who doesn’t even give him a chance to talk or to explain.I have always experienced this lackness when sharing my issues.
On the other hand,there is an opposite side to it as well.
People might not understand you completely as you are not loud like others.
When it comes to social behaviors , people may think of you as deaf or dumb and may try to trespass you.
When it comes to normal relations, In any misunderstanding it is quite difficult for a listener to clarify himself as compared to a loud person.