Tag Archives: will power

Humans are never strong forever

Passing through many rough patches in the last entire year, blogging has been more like a distant dream to me. So today may be you can call it a warm up post or a mere trial. There have been days and days (currently the third consecutive day and many more uncountable ones) when I just opened the blog deciding to write something but ended up just scrolling through a few poems and blogs in the readers column. So today I thought may be just start over and complete at least a single previous draft.

I have been working on myself for a couple of months; my own well-being both physical as well as emotional. A few decisions, a few efforts and more focused results. I have come to realize that being strong is not about just claims. In all the turmoils that I’ve been through I have found myself as an extremely feeble and fickle-minded person. Then another perspective comes that may be the ‘strong image’, ‘the stable mind’ and the decisiveness that I associate with myself were pure deceptions maintained within my mind. Well, this isn’t the case I believe as these traits of mine were admired by others firstly when I never even knew about them at the very first place. I’ve been hearing things like ‘you are a very patient, strong individual’ and many more things regarding my mental abilities and resilience. I am glad to pen it down here that I’ve found all of these claims entirely false.

I used be extremely proud (within myself) of the fact that I bare a strong mental charisma. But well, all in vain. With immense immense gratitude, I believe that in search of attributes of mental strength what I was running behind was a mere ‘cold stone’. We as humans can never be mere vessels, hollow and empty; devoid of emotions. We can never be stones; unmoved, unharmed and unaffected by all extremities. Probably I forgot that when the earth shakes, even the toughest stones and mountains break. So yeah, the earth shook and I was the weakest stone thus, i was crushed into a million pieces. I am glad it happened. I am glad i got the much needed reality check.

I am not a vessel, for I bear feelings; love, hate, rage, lust, affection, deception, anger, jealousy and all buried inside. I am humbled and grateful that I am not what I thought of myself instead I am what He made me. I am smiling while writing this because I have silently cried many nights. I am standing here because I have been broken times again and again. I try to be humble and down because I have been shook by fate and my mistakes. I surrender to His mercy today because I have fought with him many many times. I believe in my worth today because I have spent ages and ages doubting myself. I have uplifted my morale for it has been degraded way too often. I see light in the day because i have experienced dark in the finest of lights. I am grateful (utterly grateful) today because I have been thankless all my life.

The first draft post 3 months ago
After six amendments here today.

Well, in the flow of words I have totally forsaken the draft which I was supposed to be completing and posting today. The draft was initially just two sentences written over a period of good three months. So this poor soul has been edited and postponed approximately six times and yet completed in a totally off post 😀 (A cruel writer I had been I know).


Right now, after three months and six revisions I am still blindfolded by the topic and the thought behind the draft. Sitting with my laptop right in front and my mug of tea residing on it I think of completing another post with the same thought and proceeding forward the draft idea. This is what I love about being here where I am; the comfort, the gratitude, the ability to write and lastly off-course, my mug of tea.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Tour Guide

Another vow.


Until the next time stay blessed. And lastly, here are the two poor lines (their answers are yet to be discovered. Yeah I am a lazy person and I know it 🙂 ).

How many times have I got overwhelmed by the pace of events going on with every passing day?
No counts and numbers girl

And how many times the frustration had been because of the monotony that life has to offer at times?
Can’t count again




A Person Lost Within Me ..

 A dedication to all the words that cross your mind during dark days. A dedication to your endless reluctant and hesitant tries to console yourself, to the hopes developed out of the most hopeless situations, and to yourself when you really were by the wrath of time.
                When at the end it is between YOU and Yourself….

A person lost within me, Call her name she might respond.

A person lost within me ,call her name she might respond,
Tell her she has a home, she might look beyond,

Tell her bad days always pass,
Tell her bad dreams don’t last,
Tell her its not always the night,
And at the end the sun will rise,

Tell her the Aayah as she may please,
“Indeed with every difficulty there is ease” (Al Qur’an 94:6)
Tell her there is a cure for every pain,
And an apology for each disdain,

Tell her it’s all up to you,
Just to test what you do,

‘You might stay firm and let the storm move past,
or You may loose yourself and depart with the storm at last.’

The painting used in this post was just a random painting that caught my attention in my college library and later on I found it to be one hell of a perfect interpretation with reference to my context.
It is by an artist named Haroon ben Abid .I find this painting, the vibrant colors, the true artistic virtues, the expressions and the silent message it gives .. all very deep and impressive.
You can check out his other paintings and sketches at his Facebook page linked below.

Curves ‘n Lines

Trusting your Instincts

It’s been a long time since I’ve written something, although I have been thriving to write something for weeks but I just couldn’t. Half of the reason is my exams and half because I am not in a good form these days.
Thinking a lot is something really normal for me but these days I am getting nervous and pretty much sensitive over ill issues that

The little instinct bulb in your head.
The little instinct bulb in your head.

never seemed to bother me before. I dunno the reason but things are happening this way since a short period of time.
A week ago while solving my paper in the examination hall I was overwhelmed by a dozen thoughts. I have a strange urge of common sense that wakes up only in the examination hall and unfortunately that strange common sense says exactly opposite of what I’ve been studying and what I’ve been writing in my paper. While attempting a question I just closed my eyes, (metaphorically speaking) trusted my common sense (which seriously sucks at times) and went on with whatever I had in mind. But throughout the writing thingy I had a strange sense that something’s like not so well. Just like something pricking me from inside time to time again and again and I ignored that. When I came back home … Opened my lecture notebook … I found out that I have attempted the question entirely wrong. That was the most disappointing moment because I’ve been studying really hard for days. I was disappointed because I ignored my self first.
After that exam this word is fully stuck in my mind “INSTINCTS”. I should have trusted my instincts. I ruined my own toil just because I didn’t trust myself. Disappointing indeed.

From that day and specifically that exam I learned that

Whatever the first thing, the first instinct comes into your mind is always right.

It might not be a hard and fast rule but I have started believing that.
I don’t know instincts are voices from your heart?? … Your mind?? … Your soul?? .. Or your inner fears?? Or what??
I just can’t decide. But whatever they are they say the truth. I have started believing that

If you feel in your heart and soul that something is wrong then IT PROBABLY IS.

Okay … So in the process of trusting my instincts in my next exam I came to a point like this

I've got loads of problems.
I’ve got loads of problems.

Yes I know I’ve got a lot of problems. 🙂 In situations like this what I did was just blindly following the first thought. Ask yourself questions. That isn’t easy, because several thoughts will flood your mind at once. For instance, let’s say you’re looking at a menu. In figuring out what you want, pick out the first thing that stands out to you. Ignore the remainder of your thoughts, like for example: “But I didn’t even look at the specials” or “But my friend is on a diet and I’ll feel bad eating this in front of him” or “But my uncle said the mashed potatoes he had here were too mushy” etc. Don’t dwell on it.

The little instinctive me inside my head.
The little instinctive me inside my head.

Just pick something. It might be scary, because what if you make the wrong choice? Do not worry, you will be fine.
May be my innocent instincts get confused just because I am confused as well.
Instincts are the little voices, no matter how feeble they are.. They can still guide you or haunt you. You just gotta recognize them, differentiate them and simply trust them.
I have come to a point where trusting them is the only option I am left with but I am still not truly able it understand what they need to say, where are they leading me – nobody knows. May be they are something associated with the 6th sense or your fears??

They call it the “Gut Feeling”
Studies say that you experience a certain type of discomfort in your gut when you know a decision is wrong.
I’ve never noticed that but I’ll probably start noticing from now onwards.
A quote says:

Trust yourself, your instincts, what you believe. You know more than what you think you do.

Trust your instincts, listen to the voice inside you and trust that you’re doing the right thing.

But the question is … That if you yourself don’t trust yourself- your instincts, who on earth is gonna do it then???

God Has A Plan For CRSP Patients ..

Disease: Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS)

Ana Gutierrez at the age of 16 developed a severe dystonia of the left arm due to RSD / CRPS
Ana Gutierrez at the age of 16 developed a severe dystonia of the left arm due to RSD / CRPS

Also called Reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD)

It is a chronic pain condition most often affecting one of the limbs. CRPS is believed to be caused by damage to, or malfunction of, the peripheral and central nervous systems.Doctors aren’t sure what causes some individuals to develop CRPS while others with similar trauma do not. In more than 90 percent of cases, the condition is triggered by a clear history of trauma or injury. The most common triggers are fractures, sprains/strains, soft tissue injury (such as burns, cuts, or bruises), limb immobilization (such as being in a cast), or surgical or medical procedures (such as needlestick).

Symptoms: Burning, flushing, blanching, sweating, swelling, pain,thickened skin and contracture with persistent pain, loss of motion and function of the involved hand or foot with contracture (flexed scarring process), and thinning of the fatty layers under the skin. X-ray can show significant osteoporosis.

Treatment: It can be treated by psychotherapy, medications and several other treatments but causes severe pain.

Though this pain doesn’t want to go away

It’s something we deal with each and every day

It’s a battle, Such A Fight
But we must stay strong
There’s still A purpose’ meaning in your life
Don’t forget to hold on tight

You can Encourage others
To keep up the fight
Remind them that after the darkness
Comes the light
And with Hope and Faith We can still shine Bright
There’s still Family and Friends

If you know or not
So keep on Fighting and
Remember after the Darkness Still
Comes The Light Suffer As I do, I don’t Understand
But’ I know in my heart God has a plan

For he made me who I am
And all the pain I Endure I Pray He Saves
Me’ My Family And All of my friends
and forgives us All of Our Sins

He has changed me to Love and Understand
with all of my prayers I know He has A Plan’
For He suffered on the Cross for all of our Sins
So I know there’s A reason for everything in the End
Suffer As I Do’ I may not understand
But I just keep holding on tight

Say A Prayer every night
cause I know in my Heart
God has A Plan
He helps Me Fight
He helps Me withstand

I believe in My Heart He has A Plan
Though I Don’t Understand
I know there’s A Reason for it all in the End


Special Thanks to the Fears

As I lie silently all covered with my blanket right after midnight, I felt like a sudden urge to write something.Getting up and grabbing a set of pencils and a notepad was actually more troublesome than the writing itself since it’s winters here and in these days everybody is so in love with the warmth of their blankets.Anyways I wrote a piece of poetry sort of a thing.

Sometimes when I write,a part of me feels that I am not blunt enough on my point and nobody is actually gonna get what I meant exactly.I felt like this especially on this specific part of poetry.


They said humans have roots,
I tapped my feet hard on the ground,
So I laughed and giggled,
Until I had a storm within me.

They said your roots make you stand upright,
I broadened my chest arrogantly,
So I laughed and giggled,
Until I had the faith shaken within me.

They say with hollow roots you fall with the wind,
I jumped sarcastically with the wind,
So I laughed and giggled,
Until I felt something knocking the spirits within me.

My trembling hands and the bleeding heart within,
The shaken soul encountered all Fears with a grin,
My fears made me feel my roots exist,
My mind had doubts,but they still persist.

Like plants they are competent,yet weakened but have all that I possess,
So Mr.Fear my spirits,my will and my faith are not as easy to suppress.

An Eagle’s Pride

A symbol of might and right,Standing upright against everything; every shitty thing that was meant to piss you off,As i aim high in the sky and say Hello to you again.

Yes! I am talking about another eagle sketch that I’ve made.

To me it’s eyes show sheer determination,pride and will to achieve whatever it desires for every now and forever.