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Mental Suffocation- Our proud Heritage

Heritage.. well..

When I first read the word and it’s association with ancient buildings and such stuff through daily post, it didn’t strike me much honestly. I couldn’t link heritage to places and moments for that particular instinct instead I had something else in mind.

The first thought that popped in my mind was what actually is my heritage?

Heritage may not be essentially a positive entity representing you or passed on to you. In my case I believe it’s mostly negative or there can be a probability that I prefer focusing on the negativity only. We (that includes me and my two younger siblings) share the view that we have inherited some psychological traits from our family tree. Well.. that includes passivism, passive-aggression, introvert-ness, submissiveness and mental suffocation. I don’t know what mental suffocation means to you but I comprehend it as a semi-deliberate act of piling things up (things you dislike) in your mind and heart until it just explodes one day. One possible reason for such traits can be that my fore-family have gone through financially as well as socially challenging times hence perpetuating such characteristics within them. Anyway, things are way better now with my maternal and paternal aunts and uncles. I remember my father telling me that back when they used to live with my grand parents, negotiation was just a matter of imagination only. There was no concept of sharing interests, experiences and advises, instead everybody was distant and busy with their own activities.

We as siblings, on the other hand, had our differences and remained distant until I was like about 17 years of age. Soon after that we started sharing things and realized that one way or the other we all possess the same level of mental suffocation passed on by our late family. Things that you think wrongly but would never expose. Passivism that takes hold of your mind and gradually darkens your heart and soul. It was then that we decided that no matter what we’ll share, we’ll negotiate and sort things out. No matter how much we fight we won’t stab each other in the back. No matter how many differences we have, we will never disclose them in front of a third person.

There are bad days, huge arguments at times but we still get through. All three of us are very different people on the outside yet concealed, difficult, enveloped and suffocated on the inside. We have bad temper, a roller coaster of mood swings and passive-aggression…. Anyhow, we still manage each other pretty well 🙂
(At least that’s what I believe and I would absolutely like to believe)

With the same thoughts mingling in my mind, I wrote this about more than a year ago.

The mind speaks louder.

Never have i dealt with anyone more difficult to know than myself,
Never have i heard a sound more difficult to hear than my own,

 Before you or after you — all mere excuses,
Before you, I saw the apparent colors of realm,
After you- I learned to hear the colors within me, 
But never have i seen colors intermingled as those within me,
And never have i read a mind as fickle as mine may be.
I’ve seen people bleed,
With everything they do they bleed emotions,
And emotions taking over, with everything they do,
But never have i seen a heart as detached as mine,
And never have i seen a bleed more hollow than mine,
I’ve seen tears spill,
The eyes all wet,
And as people cry with every failed try,
But never have I seen an eye more dormant than mine,
And never have I heard of tears more ghostly barren than mine.
I know the power of words,
And the beauty that they hold within,
I know the wounds just tongue can heal,
But never have i seen the words more un-avid than mine,
And never have i heard a Scream more Silent than mine,
Never have I dealt with anyone more difficult than myself..

A Child’s Love has no Language…

Few months ago I read this line somewhere.

Never blame your parents for something they didn’t give you. It was probably something they themselves didn’t have.

And today I read this

“Remember, If you are criticizing, you are not being grateful. If you are blaming, you are not being grateful. If you are complaining, you are not being grateful.”

Complaining was never a part of my nature. I am not so loud to do that.
But yes I have been blaming since long time.
And most of all I have been criticizing deep down in my heart.

Parent’s Love for their kids is not something associated with humans only. And so is the case with a Kids’ Love for his parents.

Kids admire and Love their parents in special secret ways. Some kids are capable of showing that while some are not. Even the most ungrateful kids are the ones which have the deepest love for their parents. The act of rushing into a mothers’ lap, mimicking whatever his father says, teasing mommy deliberately, making funny little faces to make mommy smile, sitting on the daddy’s back and considering ones’ self as a mighty horse rider…. Kids have their own strange ways. Like my parents could never have imagined that I can write something for them.image_title_krnci

And like I said before, the Love is not only confined to just humans.

The baby Lamb walks comfortably on the Mother’s back.

The Angry Mommy … Never spares anyone.

A squirrel mother adopting an abandoned baby squirrel.

The Mommy and the Daddy … The kids are too small to be left alone.

Look What Daddy’s got for you.

The Mother brings yummy food while the daddy makes them rest.

The Little cuddly Chick finds satisfaction with its Mommy.

I can stand here for the whole day.

Wanna go for a ride??Your presence is a blessing. A special thanks for everything you’ve given me.

Who else can hide me better than my mum??

And Lastly, a click from the famous movie “The Happy Feet 2“.

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