Tag Archives: social behaviors

“Poor Me” Syndrome … Here at my Home

The more I think about Self Pity For Ages.. Would I do the same?? Finally I conclude this May be I can’t decide because I am not standing in their shoes, but yet I’ve been through a lot. When I say a lot I really mean it.

ImageMostly the people who care a lot are the ones who are most difficult to make up with, whenever they are blue. It’s not a hard and fast rule but that’s just what I’ve observed. Cheering those people up normally is something that I don’t even have to make an effort for, But when they are upset — That’s just like banging my head to the wall in front of me.

I write this post as I try to convince my younger sister as she got scolded by my mother for something that wasn’t virtually her fault. She locked herself in the bathroom for hours then at bedtime she just grabbed the music player and rushed towards the terrace because she knew that I would want to talk.

Normally I don’t consider myself as a caring elder sister to the three of my younger siblings but I just try to be one. And nowadays as I am becoming more and more short tempered, I ruin all my efforts myself by just being ANGRY.

ImageThis was not the case that day. I was equally calm and persistent as I went to convince her. I decided to talk firstly about whatever happened today and then I would skip to random topics and jokes to cheer her up. I started talking and she pretended to play a game, not laying an ear on whatever I had to say. On everything I said , I got an abrupt reply full of disappointment. I hate disappointments (I guess everybody does) and even more than that I am more annoyed by those people who just don’t get these disappointments off their heads.

Anyways I just continued explaining things for her just hoping that at some point she’ll understand. When suddenly she starts banging her head on the chair (the chairs were made of iron and I bet she would’ve been hurt). I tried stoping her but it was like my words had no meaning at all.

“I hate myself, I hate myself”, that’s the only thing that she would say. I tried stopping her by my hands, and without even knowing I unintentionally slapped her so that she would stop. She stopped immediately, then cried and left for the other room.

O my! I was just trying to cheer her up and what she did?? Still I again followed her as she reached the other room. This time I decided not to say a word, instead I just told her to come with me to sleep. She told me she wasn’t in a mood and will come later. I insisted to stay until she makes up her mind to sleep. After an hour of sitting quietly we both agreed and moved towards the bedroom and now she is sleeping right next to me.

oct06_roxy02All I am doing now is just writing and watching her sleep as she breaths loudly with her mouth wide open and still looks innocent. I bet her head still hurts.


Things seem tiny because My mind is even more Tiny

According to the question from the Daily Prompt:Happy Endings

Telling you about something that I’ve tried to quit?

Long time ago I read a poem that stated that nothing is little and unimportant in the world. Even the tiny little ant has it’s own place and importance. The little things we do, the little deeds of kindness, the little actions and reactions are of immense importance in our’s and somebody else’s lives.

I learned that things seem unimportant just because I see them that way. Things are tiny just because my mind is even more tiny to interpret them. I just need to change my perspective and take little things seriously. I quit overlooking little deeds and things. I can’t say I succeeded or not because I am still trying and trying.I read a story about it that I would love to share.tiny

Two teenagers asked their father if they could go to the theater to watch a movie that all their friends had seen. After reading some reviews about the movie on the Internet, he denied their request.

“Ah dad, why not?” they complained. “It’s rated PG-13, and we’re both older than thirteen!”

Dad replied: “Because that movie contains nudity and portrays immorality as being normal and acceptable behavior.” “But dad, those are just very small parts of the movie! That’s what our friends who’ve seen it have told us. The movie is two hours long and those scenes are just a few minutes of the total film! It’s based on a true story and good triumphs over evil, and there are other redeeming themes like courage and self-sacrifice. Even the movie review websites say that!”

“My answer is ‘no,’ and that is my final answer. You are welcome to stay home tonight, invite some of your friends over, and watch one of the good videos we have in our home collection. But you will not go and watch that film. End of discussion.” The two teenagers walked dejectedly into the family room and slumped down on the couch. As they sulked, they were surprised to hear the sounds of their father preparing something in the kitchen.

They soon recognized the wonderful aroma of brownies baking in the oven, and one of the teenagers said to the other, “Dad must be feeling guilty, and now he’s going to try to make it up to us with some fresh brownies. Maybe we can soften him with lots of praise when he brings them out to us and persuade him to let us go to that movie after all.” The teens were not disappointed. Soon their father appeared with a plate of warm brownies, which he offered to his kids. They each took one.

Then their father said, “before you eat, I want to tell you something: I love you both so much.”

The teenagers smiled at each other with knowing glances. Dad was softening.

“That is why I’ve made these brownies with the very best ingredients. I’ve made them from scratch. Most of the ingredients are even organic; the best organic flour, the best free-range eggs, the best organic sugar, premium vanilla and chocolate.”

The brownies looked mouth-watering, and the teens began to become a little impatient with their dad’s long speech.KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
But I want to be perfectly honest with you. There is one ingredient I added that is not usually found in brownies. I got that ingredient from our own back yard. But you needn’t worry, because I only added the tiniest bit of that ingredient to your brownies. The amount of the portion is practically insignificant. So go ahead, take a bite and let me know what you think?
“Dad, would you mind telling us what that mystery ingredient is before we eat?”
“Why? The portion I added was so small, just a teaspoonful. You won’t even taste it.”
“Come on, dad; just tell us what that ingredient is?”
“Don’t worry! It is organic, just like the other ingredients.”
“Well, OK, if you insist. That secret ingredient is organicdog poop.”
Both teens instantly dropped their brownies back on the plate and began inspecting their fingers with horror.
Dad! Why did you do that? You’ve tortured us by making us smell those brownies cooking for the last half hour, and now you tell us that you
added dog poop! We can’t eat these brownies!”
“Why not? The amount of dog poop is very small compared to the rest of the ingredients. It won’t hurt you. It’s been cooked right along with the other ingredients. You won’t even taste it. It has the same consistency as the brownies. Go ahead and eat!”
“No, Dad … Never!”
“And that is the same reason I won’t allow you to go watch that movie.
You won’t tolerate a little dog poop in your brownies, so why should you tolerate a little immorality in your movies? We pray that God will not lead us unto temptation, so how can we in good
conscience entertain ourselves with something that will imprint a sinful image in our minds that will lead us into temptation long after we first see it?”

Remember, we become de-sensitized a little bit at a time; it is the small and minimal sins that we forget the most.

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You have to pay for PATIENCE ..

A “Long time no see” shout out to my blog. I’ve been thinking of writing from several days but as always, the old habit of procrastination of mine and half because my new semester has just started and I am trying very steadily and reluctantly to cope with the new study patterns.

There are a few lectures which always give you a hard time, whether that be for listening,understanding or comprehending. And this course of Industrial Pharmacy is just another addition to those list of lectures. Anyways so here I sit on one bench of my lecture hall, vain enough to listen to what the lecturer has to say and just busy in my own World of thoughts, analyzing the events from the previous Saturday.

handLiving in a home with four other siblings all of which are school going, while the first one has to go attend her college function, another one has to go attend her evening classes, another one has to go to the nearby gaming club to play tennis, and another college orientation blah blah blah — It has always been a mess. Despite the fact that I hate waiting, I still always have to wait for even hours and I try my level best just to be patient, patient and patient because the worst part is that you can’t even complain to your parents as they are of the view that ” One has to cooperate with her siblings, we should adjust the timings within ourselves etc etc”
And yeah, I admit that they are right because off-course five separate cars cannot be brought for all five of their kids.Okay! so here I am — cooperating and cooperating. I don’t wanna sound like I am complaining, but I do admit that nobody else does that cooperation thing except my youngest sister.

Anyways starting with the story, At that day I was supposed to reach my friends’ place till 5pm sharp. Since my friend lives near by University and it’s far away from my home, so I always have to depart early from home. We were supposed to leave at 4pm because my driver had to drop my younger sister on our way for her evening classes. My sister was out to attend her college orientation and I strictly instructed her again and again not to be late. Finally the time came, the clock stuck 4, then 4:10, then 4:15, then 4:20, but my sister was still not home. I waited then called her and then again started waiting. Lastly, I heard the horn at 4:35pm, I could steadily feel anger and stress rolling down my nerves. I knew now I won’t get there on time as I rushed towards the front door. Suddenly i heard my brother shouting.

” Wait ! Wait ! Just 5 minutes, I have to go along for tennis.horrorwwww

Me: No way! You can go play tomorrow. You haven’t even changed yet and I don’t have time to wait again now.”

As I approached the car what I saw was my sister’s friend sitting beside her. To my surprise my sister brought her friend along so that we could drop her as well, although she knew that I was getting late. By the way my sister looks like this 😛 Lol.. Just kidding it is just a random picture which looks pretty scary.Back with the story, So now I had to wait for my brother first, then drop him to the nearby gaming club, followed by my sister’s friend, then drop my sister and last will be my turn. Now I could feel anger growing and flowing with my blood.

I inquired my sister, ” Why are you that late? ” , she replied “They were not letting us out.”

Me: Come on! Why would they do such a thing, you people are not even their students yet.

she explained, “They didn’t let us out till it was 4:30pm”.

I exclaimed “Stop lying. Professional Colleges don’t do childish stuff like this, you people are not in kindergarten.”

She tried to make an excuse,”No there was full hustle and bustle there and everybody was in such a rush.”

I replied,”So what? Haven’t you ever been to a crowdy place? Was it the first time of your life?.”

She said abruptly, “You can ask my friend.”

Me: Why would I? Do I seem like a kid to you? I have studied in colleges and I still am. You knew I was waiting ans still you didn’t come on time and here you are, making lame excuses right in front of me.”
Her:I have already told you how that was and now I am just least bothered to explain. I don’t care whatever you think after this, I am just least concerned.

Me: Yeah! Just because you can’t come up with another story now.


I am quite aware of the fact that kids don’t like being scold in front of their friends but I just did that without thinking because I could not hold my anger.My sister is a type of person that would hurt herself and then would just start crying over what she has done.Image

I wanted to ask her why she has brought her friend along but I didn’t (P.S I already knew that her friend belongs to a wealthy family and has no transport issues) , May be because my anger did not drive me out of my senses at that time. I knew that her friend would be uncomfortable if I said something and my words may ruin the bond of friendship that they share. But still my anger grew as I saw my younger sibling lying and then arguing over her own mistake. Finally I uttered,

“But the driver is gonna drop me first because you were late.”

She replied rationally,” No way! You just have to go randomly to your friends’,but I’ll get late for my class”

Me: “You are late already, and you made it that way.”

She replied loudly and arrogantly,” Think whatever you wanna, You can go check it all for yourself and I’ll see how the bloody driver drops you first.”

Hearing these words, my frustration and anger was outraged and knowing that the driver is standing nearby and my sister’s friend is sitting right next to me, I still started shouting
“Do I seem like a bloody Bastard to you that I will go back to the College just to check? Do you see Bastard in “bold letters” written on my forehead??”.

She replied calmly,“Seems so.”

I replied immediately,“Sorry , I don’t roam around with your forehead attached to me.”

Nobody said a word after that. She and her friend were amazed at how I reacted and so was I. I couldn’t think of anything else so I didn’t argue or tell the driver to drop me first, I preferred staying quite instead. We dropped our brother, then my sister’s friend, then my sister and finally I reached my friends’ at 6:00pm – a whole hour late.

I never react like that on anything. I have always been very patient in this regard, At least that’s what my driver says.

“My daughter! You always wait for hours for everybody. You have always been very patient.”

But what happened that day? I still can’t decide why I reacted that way? May be it’s because there comes a time when your patience speaks for itself. When you do not react for a long time, there comes a time when you react additionally for all the previous things for which you have never reacted. Your reaction may be abrupt and irrational as well but you are justified in your own sense. Aggression for a long time turns into exaggerations and these exaggerations may blur your vision, slur your speech and may cause you to overlook the events.

When you bury your anger, your words for a long time within you there comes a time when you have to pay for your own patience, The words you utter after that are devastating, They can make people forget all that you’ve done for them. YES! I agree that patience is a noble virtue but only within certain limits. You should not be that patient that others start thinking of you as a cold-hear-ted one. I know if my friend is reading this right now she would start lecturing that I should act upon whatever I am saying over here.

But Alas! It’s all in my nature and I can’t change it. Today I think if I ever had a chance to make my nature by myself, I would never be patient, I would be naive, I would be outspoken, because I know I can’t be like this throughout my life.

if only i could see … the way they do

If only i could see the way they do,if only i could know from what they are going through,if only i could understand how they are,if only i could breath the way they do,if only i could know their inside,if i could feel their pain,if only i could stand for once in their shoes,if only i could see their tears,if i could notice their restlessness,if i could have observed the darkness in themselves,if only i could see the wishes in their eyes,if only i could bear the same fortune,if only i could have the same emptiness,if only i could know what the solutions are,if i could know that where this fate is gonna take me,if only i realized how every single word hurts,how every morn and tear crushes you from inside,if only i could know for once how i can make difference,if i could hear the silent cries,if i could learn to be the helping hand,if only i could be grateful for what i have,if only i could realize that what i have will not be mine forever,if only i could remind myself again that one day i have to leave this world,if only i could remember that nothing will stay with me except my deeds,if only i could emphasize on every single person,every single word and its drawbacks.

If only once i could be afraid the way they are…


Then i would have never treated them differently,never made fun of them,never thought about myself being superior,and never trespassed them.