Tag Archives: DPchallenge

When you said “Nobody loves you”

There are a few things that I can say “I hate”, but yes I can’t say that I am not agitated by anything at all. The thing I hate the most is “disappointment”. I know that sometimes people may suffer because of how they judge people without knowing that what they’ve been through. But honestly speaking I myself have been through a lot; Life has changed from shines to rust and no matter whatever you do you just have to live with it. Being disappointed, degrading yourself would never ever solve any sort of a problem. I believe in “resilience”.

Being a keen observer, a listener and an elder sibling I often have to listen to ungrateful stuff. It’s okay I admit that I do say that but I never loose hope from my Lord. My younger sibling is immature and hence very emotional at times, often exaggerating and indulged in Self Pity. I have mentioned the whole story in a previous post “Poor Me” Syndrome… Here at my Home. After that situation I decided just not to try convincing her to anything like that.smartphowned.com_380839_1374849175

It’s okay .. Lets just think that there is a person in the whole world who claims that nobody loves him at all. Okay let I be that person, so let’s say “Nobody Loves me” ( Even if it turns out to be true but still I don’t like the very sound of complaining in this manner).

Can saying that loud make me feel any better?

Does it give me any hope? Any indication ? Any motivation?

Does that give me any positivity? Any sign how I should be?

I mean does that make more people love me? I feel that this even makes me hate myself.

This would make people pitying me and even me doing the same to myself.

That just makes me feel more and more miserable.

That would never make me realize that there might be something in me that needs to be changed. Okay I don’t mean to sound that you need to change for the world but believe me a few people are really worth it. They are worth every effort that you put in. (Although I haven’t changed that much for those who are worth it but still I am trying).

What I really meant to say was that these few words can lead any person to a phase of utmost disappointment. I believe that disappointment kills every quality and every bit of positive energy that you inhibit, whether that be your will,your strength,your dignity,your way of thinking, your way of interpreting things and your overall way of living. It blocks the room to improvement and progress. When God has made every Being equally worthy, even the little animals and birds are worthy than who the hell are you to degrade yourself like that?? ( I am sorry if it sounded more like emotional and angry but this is how I feel right now).

My younger sibling often uses this sentence: “Nobody Loves Me” and I am just left silent. Sometimes it just happens that your heart answers but still your tongue doesn’t even move. Another day my friend said the same, although I replied but as usual I  couldn’t say what I actually wanted. Sometimes it’s like you have so much to say so much to explain that you just can’t decide where to start, and after silent considerations finally you just decide not to start and say anything.

In any relation that I have, I always hate just reminding them again and again that I exist and  I am right here. I used to say this a few years back, “I don’t need such people whom I have to tell and remind again and again that see I exist. If anybody needs me they should know it right away. Otherwise I just don’t need such a relation and I don’t care whatever that relation is then.”

Now whenever I think about it that seems more like an egoistic approach. Sometimes a few people forget your existence but you still can’t let go because may be there’s your fault as well in there somewhere. Or the people are just too precious to loose. But answering such things have always been difficult — really difficult actually. I couldn’t think of anything else except just to write so I wrote this:429702637_5dfa7048d6

I wanted to be an exception; when you said nobody loves you,
Felt nothing but deception; as you said nobody loves you,

I know that words change when gloom is inside,
But sometimes few words reveal what you always hide,
I know the issues matter, No matter how small they may,
I know some people say, What they never wanted to say,

I still wanted to be an exception when you said nobody loves you.
Felt nothing but deception as you said nobody loves you.

The Sound of Silence


As bitter as I am

Thinking, thinking and thinking is one of those habits of mine that I hate. I often sit for hours when I am intended to do something but at the end the only thing I had been doing is just mingling with loads of THOUGHTS. Today, this time, this very moment I am stuck with the same thing. I think so much and at the end when it comes to speech or actions I am mostly just blank. This has been happening from quite a few months now.

antiI always have problems telling people how I really feel about them. Expressing love has always been difficult and so is maintaining a healthy and foregoing conversation. It often happens that I am blunt to such an extent that it resembles or is almost very rude. I notice and remember way too small details about people so I have to act dumb sometimes so I don’t freak them out. I don’t indulge and take part in  conversations between any mutual friend instead I just smile, My best friend says it’s rude that you are sitting right in the middle of a conversation and not even saying a word but how can it be rude when I am smiling?? I mean isn’t smiling considered as a part of a conversation?? Well my best friend laughs really hard on me and I still don’t get it.

When it comes to correcting people I become edgy and irritated after a certain period of time and when it comes to joking around with pals I turn out to be pretty much defensive on the inside but I often don’t show it. My best friend says I need to change a little bit for the people I love and care for, as they will never know how much I love them if I never show up or tell them. She says I utter bitter words at times I need to be a little bit sweet, I need to learn to greet people happily and object in a kind manner.

The exact opposite thing happened yesterday when I had to correct a dear friend of mine. He has a strange habit of comparing himself with everybody I like. I never wanted him to do it since he is different, he has a special place, a separate and unique existence that matters a lot to me. I tried and ended up somewhat like this.

Me: You know I don’t like one habit of yours at all.

He: What??

Me: Man why do you always start comparing yourself with others? I mean everybody is different in their own sense.bitter-beer

He: Hmm okay.

At that moment I realized that I was a bit too straight forward. I tried coping up
Me: What I meant to say was that everybody has their own different and distinct place.

He: Oh okay.

Me: Mmm I was expecting something other than this “Okay”.

He: What else??

Me: hah nothing. I am just feeling sleepy now so I gotta leave.

I couldn’t think of any other way to cope up and any other thing to say so I just tried quitting the topic for that time. My words were really quite bitter.

I told my best friend and as she said:

out You should have said that in a positive, sugar coated, in a kind manner. Like you should have told him that you admire him, you think he is different from everybody else so there is no comparison of him with anybody you like. Nobody can fill in his shoes and you simply don’t wanna loose him ever.

I wished I could have said it the right way or should have used the right words but it just happened. I can’t say it’s a slip of tongue infact I was just bound to my habit. A part of me was kind of disappointed and half embarrassed.

Daily Post: Write Here, Write now

The Soup Story

I occasionally consider my mother as a super duper angry lady.Okay lets just say one odd day in three months.Once in a blue moon my mother suddenly realizes an odd thing and OMG!! that means we are all in great trouble.
This Monday my mother suddenly realized that I have turned 21 now and I don’t take any specific interest in the household chores,cleaning,laundry and on top of the list COOKING.(Okay I do admit that I am not much interested in cooking but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it.I can make all sorts of tea,noodles,a few cakes,a few limited traditional dishes and yeah the best achievement so far,I can make yummy crispy french fries 😉 .Although I don’t get the cooking thing very good at the first place but I guess it happens with everybody).
Anyways so I was assigned the job to make Cabbage Soup for the dinner and was supposed to show up for work at 6:00pm sharp.

Normally I am not habitual of sleeping in the afternoons but yeah I do sleep sometimes.I kept my eyes wide maasiopen,drank a lot of water so that peeing again and again would refrain me from sleeping 🙂 but finally all my tries were in vain and my dreams caught me tight at 5:45pm.Time passed by and the clock crossed 6pm and then 6:15pm and so on.My dreams loosened their grip at 6:30pm and I rushed bare footed towards the kitchen,”Oh my! My mommy is so gonna kill me”,I exclaimed to myself.Luckily my mother was no where to be found in the kitchen.Wow-sh,a moment of relief,I took a deep breath and started working.I’ve never felt more of a Chef before.

Okay so I’ve got the chicken stock out from the fridge,my chicken all set into tiny little thread shaped pieces,the cabbages’ all ready,the salts and peppers equally done.Finally now it’s time to give some viscosity,Oh yeah here comes the cornflour.

To my surprise,the soup was still very runny even after adding enough amount of cornflour.I am not very prone to cooking disasters and never had any experience to deal with them so the last and the least thing I could do was just calling my mother.
“Mama! Can you please come and have a look at the consistency of the soup for me?

Mama: I am sick and hell tired of you all,Don’t you eat the same soup everyday?? Don’t you even know how it looks? Haven’t you even noted it’s consistency for once in your life?. I don’t know anything, just do it and make exactly how you see it everyday.”
Hahh .. That was enough of an answer I guess.So, I kept on adding more and more of cornflour and guess what??

Nothing happened.It’s consistency was still the same as flowing water with a fried egg floating on it.I had a hard time dishing it out and serving it.Its mere look was nothing more than an utmost disappointment.

I didn’t dish it out for myself because I knew how it really was 🙂 Instead I stood by the side of the wall so that nobody could see me but only I could hear what they have to say about the so called SOUP…. Surprisingly, there was not even a single word.After a few moments I gathered my senses and settled at the dinning.


There was no point of thinking that there might not be any flaw in the soup because I could clearly see how runny it was,the chicken was all dissolved because of over-boiling and the cabbage all settled at the bottom,the egg took the form of huge clusters and the salt was no where to be found.Suddenly my mother’s statement broke my thought bubbles.bs

“Mama: If only you could have added more cornflour.Did you even add the cabbage or chicken??

Me: You should have told me before.I mean I am not the Chef of a 5 star Hotel or something,I am just an inexperienced kid.
Dad: Okay okay silence! The soup is just marvelous.”

I smiled at the way my Dad tried to cheer me up but since I knew he was lying so that wasn’t just enough.
Everybody ate to their fullest and to the extreme height of my amusement,nobody left the soup in their plates or even the soup pot.While I was busy in analyzing the whole lot that has just happened,my little brother came to me and said:
“You know the Soup was all good but it just had only one flaw.It was so not viscous,Otherwise it would have been a blast.”
I couldn’t say a word in reply,Instead I just smiled and said to myself “Hah! What a supportive family I’ve got”,and pushed myself back to the cleaning stuff.

Today yet again.I was assigned the same Soup Maker Job,I made into the kitchen sharp at 6:00pm like a boss :). Did everything with utmost confidence that I could ever have.I still can’t figure out how did that happen but I felt wonderful :). My lil brother came again and asked:

“Hmm so what are you making today?
Me: Yet another soup.
He: Oh! so a perfect edition this time?
Me: Yeah hopefully. 🙂 “

Then I got my chicken perfectly done.


The cabbage perfectly cut,but I cut that into big squares so that it would float in the soup.


A tempting accidental picture inside the pot when I ended up adding the cabbage to it.


Here’s what the steam does to your camera when you almost to place the camera in the pot and try to capture what’s cooking inside (the lens all covered with steam and the picture blurred). 🙂


And finally I was so happy with it’s consistency that I felt like kissing the cornflour and screaming on top of my lungs. 🙂done

And so here’s the time to serve and eat.Don’t you want it too?


And Yeah! Finally I realize and admit that whatever mothers do is always for the benefit and well being of their little ones.My mother wanted me to do things well,So she scolded me,She punished me and so here I am now.

Weakly Writing Challenge.