A “Long time no see” shout out to my blog. I’ve been thinking of writing from several days but as always, the old habit of procrastination of mine and half because my new semester has just started and I am trying very steadily and reluctantly to cope with the new study patterns.
There are a few lectures which always give you a hard time, whether that be for listening,understanding or comprehending. And this course of Industrial Pharmacy is just another addition to those list of lectures. Anyways so here I sit on one bench of my lecture hall, vain enough to listen to what the lecturer has to say and just busy in my own World of thoughts, analyzing the events from the previous Saturday.
Living in a home with four other siblings all of which are school going, while the first one has to go attend her college function, another one has to go attend her evening classes, another one has to go to the nearby gaming club to play tennis, and another college orientation blah blah blah — It has always been a mess. Despite the fact that I hate waiting, I still always have to wait for even hours and I try my level best just to be patient, patient and patient because the worst part is that you can’t even complain to your parents as they are of the view that ” One has to cooperate with her siblings, we should adjust the timings within ourselves etc etc”
And yeah, I admit that they are right because off-course five separate cars cannot be brought for all five of their kids.Okay! so here I am — cooperating and cooperating. I don’t wanna sound like I am complaining, but I do admit that nobody else does that cooperation thing except my youngest sister.
Anyways starting with the story, At that day I was supposed to reach my friends’ place till 5pm sharp. Since my friend lives near by University and it’s far away from my home, so I always have to depart early from home. We were supposed to leave at 4pm because my driver had to drop my younger sister on our way for her evening classes. My sister was out to attend her college orientation and I strictly instructed her again and again not to be late. Finally the time came, the clock stuck 4, then 4:10, then 4:15, then 4:20, but my sister was still not home. I waited then called her and then again started waiting. Lastly, I heard the horn at 4:35pm, I could steadily feel anger and stress rolling down my nerves. I knew now I won’t get there on time as I rushed towards the front door. Suddenly i heard my brother shouting.
Me: No way! You can go play tomorrow. You haven’t even changed yet and I don’t have time to wait again now.”
As I approached the car what I saw was my sister’s friend sitting beside her. To my surprise my sister brought her friend along so that we could drop her as well, although she knew that I was getting late. By the way my sister looks like this 😛 Lol.. Just kidding it is just a random picture which looks pretty scary.Back with the story, So now I had to wait for my brother first, then drop him to the nearby gaming club, followed by my sister’s friend, then drop my sister and last will be my turn. Now I could feel anger growing and flowing with my blood.
I inquired my sister, ” Why are you that late? ” , she replied “They were not letting us out.”
Me: Come on! Why would they do such a thing, you people are not even their students yet.
she explained, “They didn’t let us out till it was 4:30pm”.
I exclaimed “Stop lying. Professional Colleges don’t do childish stuff like this, you people are not in kindergarten.”
She tried to make an excuse,”No there was full hustle and bustle there and everybody was in such a rush.”
I replied,”So what? Haven’t you ever been to a crowdy place? Was it the first time of your life?.”
She said abruptly, “You can ask my friend.”
Me: Why would I? Do I seem like a kid to you? I have studied in colleges and I still am. You knew I was waiting ans still you didn’t come on time and here you are, making lame excuses right in front of me.”
Her:I have already told you how that was and now I am just least bothered to explain. I don’t care whatever you think after this, I am just least concerned.
Me: Yeah! Just because you can’t come up with another story now.
She: WHATEVER !!!
I am quite aware of the fact that kids don’t like being scold in front of their friends but I just did that without thinking because I could not hold my anger.My sister is a type of person that would hurt herself and then would just start crying over what she has done.
I wanted to ask her why she has brought her friend along but I didn’t (P.S I already knew that her friend belongs to a wealthy family and has no transport issues) , May be because my anger did not drive me out of my senses at that time. I knew that her friend would be uncomfortable if I said something and my words may ruin the bond of friendship that they share. But still my anger grew as I saw my younger sibling lying and then arguing over her own mistake. Finally I uttered,
“But the driver is gonna drop me first because you were late.”
She replied rationally,” No way! You just have to go randomly to your friends’,but I’ll get late for my class”
Me: “You are late already, and you made it that way.”
She replied loudly and arrogantly,” Think whatever you wanna, You can go check it all for yourself and I’ll see how the bloody driver drops you first.”
Hearing these words, my frustration and anger was outraged and knowing that the driver is standing nearby and my sister’s friend is sitting right next to me, I still started shouting
“Do I seem like a bloody Bastard to you that I will go back to the College just to check? Do you see Bastard in “bold letters” written on my forehead??”.
She replied calmly,“Seems so.”
I replied immediately,“Sorry , I don’t roam around with your forehead attached to me.”
Nobody said a word after that. She and her friend were amazed at how I reacted and so was I. I couldn’t think of anything else so I didn’t argue or tell the driver to drop me first, I preferred staying quite instead. We dropped our brother, then my sister’s friend, then my sister and finally I reached my friends’ at 6:00pm – a whole hour late.
I never react like that on anything. I have always been very patient in this regard, At least that’s what my driver says.
“My daughter! You always wait for hours for everybody. You have always been very patient.”
But what happened that day? I still can’t decide why I reacted that way? May be it’s because there comes a time when your patience speaks for itself. When you do not react for a long time, there comes a time when you react additionally for all the previous things for which you have never reacted. Your reaction may be abrupt and irrational as well but you are justified in your own sense. Aggression for a long time turns into exaggerations and these exaggerations may blur your vision, slur your speech and may cause you to overlook the events.
When you bury your anger, your words for a long time within you there comes a time when you have to pay for your own patience, The words you utter after that are devastating, They can make people forget all that you’ve done for them. YES! I agree that patience is a noble virtue but only within certain limits. You should not be that patient that others start thinking of you as a cold-hear-ted one. I know if my friend is reading this right now she would start lecturing that I should act upon whatever I am saying over here.
But Alas! It’s all in my nature and I can’t change it. Today I think if I ever had a chance to make my nature by myself, I would never be patient, I would be naive, I would be outspoken, because I know I can’t be like this throughout my life.