Monday,the 6th of January….hmmm…. gonna be the first day for Practical exams.
The clock never seemed so alive before … the time is passing like crazy … and I am still as lazy as before,no improvement,no changes,no chances …
Sitting alone in my room i just realized how time has passed … hours,months and then years.The wounds are still bleeding but the time has passed…..
Sometimes it feels like it’s nothing but a mere race against time.We are all trying to grab it,pursue it and move it our own way.
“I must govern the clock,not be governed by it”
Sometimes in this merciless race against time one doesn’t actually find space for himself.I feel like while chasing time I forgot that the things I already have are more valuable.It’s like someone who collected stars for all of her life and at the end dropped them all while searching for the moon.It’s like something that broke inside you while you were busy in your chase.
May be the people who sleep by the clock are more lucky in this sense than those who spend their entire life running with it.
So what if time is the best medicine?? …. Medicines don’t actually work on everybody.
So what if every wound is made to be healed?? ….. Each and everyone does not pass through the same pain,the same dilemma,the same condition.All the wounds are not the same.Conditions change with time and so do people.
Each and everyone has his own reason and fortunately or may be unfortunately I am just not willing to listen to those,May be I am the one who is on the wrong side But I have my own reason.Although I may not be fully satisfied with my reason,my clarification or may be I am making up excuses,running away from people,escaping from reality,arguing with myself,negotiating with people over pity issues,astonished on my own attitude,the way I have changed,the way I have started taking everything for granted,the way hatred has started occupying my heart,the way I have forgotten all my mistakes,all my sins,all the precious advises,the way I have slaughtered the inner piece that I had once,the way I have forgotten the blessings of my creator,the way I have forsaken the sacrifices of my parents.
A Friend of mine says:
“Whatever reason you have is not worth it … You have more precious things to take care of .. more beautiful relations that have to be flourished …. and most important of all is yourself … You have to give time and space to yourself,your thoughts and your belongings…”
Sometimes your asset is not just the old memories.You cant live the whole life thinking about them and I am just trying to do the same thing,trying to decide what to do and what not.